I don’t know anymore, I don’t know what to do anymore.
It is like I’m in a black hole or that I have some sort of a memory loss.
I see my world upside down. I can’t seem to decide anymore, I just cluelessly nodd.
My answers are getting smaller as days pass by.
As my thoughts getting bigger, the smile on my face is slowly fading.
I can’t seem to find something to wander with or anything or someone to think about anymore.
“I’m lost, where am I? What is this, what is that?”
I question myself as I stand alone and stare at the sky full of stars. Is there any way that I can fly off and be somewhere better,
Somewhere, where I can’t feel lost, where everything seems to be okay?
Is there even a happy ending in this world other than books of fairytales?
You may wonder, Why am I always talking about my sorrows in puzzles and nonsense? Why can’t I just open up and write about my problems?
Because it is so hard for me to just say it right away. Because my words are shattered and I can’t find the right words to describe or talk about my sorrows.
How funny, isn’t it?
How can a person feel so much pain and yet pretend that he or she is completely fine. human beings sometimes surprise me.
No wonder why there’s a job called “acting”.
Do you think I can become a great actor? I think I can, since nobody realizes that I’m completely broken and don’t know how to feel anymore.
I mean for real, can’t you notice that, like… at all?
It is really crazy and driving me nutts.
My life has become meaningless.
I live for nothing and will die for nothing.
I can’t even relay on people anymore, I don’t know who to be friend with. Because it will be just like a blow of wind. If I made friends or counted on someone and they backstabbed or disappointed me, it won’t make me feel any different towards them, because the number of being backstabbed, disappointed, broken, hurt, or even being lied to, is uncountable. There’s no any single space for it. It became full that I don’t even know what its like to be hurt anymore or even loved.
I just shed tears as I write and speak my words…
I don’t say much anymore, it’s just… I don’t know anymore. Even speaking to people became hard for me. I don’t communicate anymore.
I’m lost in time, I’m dazed off as the my world spins around.
Is there anyone will dare to hold my hand to pull me towards him/her and say “I know it’s been a tough road for you on your own, I’m sorry for walking slow behind you. I’ll promise I will be your shadow from now own and we shall walk on those tough roads together.”